In June 2017, I woke up with an idea. Greenhouse. I want to build a greenhouse. So we did. We designed it ourselves. It's not a kit just anyone can buy. We were outside for 7 months, just the two of us, placing each individual piece with our own hands. Our fingerprints are pressed into the wood. Our blood, sweat and tears are mixed into the foundation. I've touched every single leaf and petal of every single plant and flower that calls it home. The greenhouse is an extension of my heart and soul. It shows us that there is good that comes from the bad and is a reminder of God's promises and His Perfect Plan.
It's so much more than just a greenhouse. We found out we were pregnant with Marigold the day it was completed. We found out we'd be adding a daughter to our family inside it's walls. Our family visits it daily and we play beneath the leaves. While it was never built for weddings, it's grown to be so much more. Couples have started their forever here and for us, that's incredibly special.
Tucked within the trees, it's a truly magical place that brings joy, reflection and healing. And of course, a one-of-a-kind space for photographers and artists to work their magic, and for couples to begin their forever.
Then we miscarried.
I decided I needed plants. Lots of plants. All under my control, all things I could keep alive. I never seemed to have enough. Each month we had a negative test, that day I’d go to a nursery or Home Depot or Lowe’s and get more plants. I’d take my time walking through the plant isles. I’d run my fingers across their leaves, waiting for one to call out to me. Sometimes I’d go with my son and let him pick one. Sometimes, I just wanted to go alone. This was an errand where I couldn’t be rushed. I needed to take my time and let the minutes, sometimes hours, in the company of plants work their magic.
'Waking up to a new sunrise - Looking back from the other side - I can see now with open eyes - Darkest water and deepest pain
I wouldn't trade it for anything - 'Cause my brokenness brought me to You
And these wounds are a story You'll use
So I'm thankful for the scars - 'Cause without them I wouldn't know Your heart - And I know they'll always tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful for the scars
I can see, I can see - How You delivered me - In Your hands, In Your feet - I found my victory - I can see, I can see - How You delivered me
In Your hands, In Your feet- I found my victory
I'm thankful for Your scars - 'Cause without them I wouldn't know Your heart
And with my life I'll tell of who You are - So forever I am thankful.'
- Scars, i am they